frustration

Have you ever had one of those days when all seems to fall apart around you and you really really wonder why you even got out of bed that day... Well... I am having one of those.....

I am not going to give details as to what happened but I can tell you that I feel under attack in my own little life. I am having feelings that I am not wanted or accepted or even trusted at my place of work. It seems to me that I am being watched under a microscope and can't breathe with out being monitored. As no time in my entire life have I even been treated as if I could not be trusted. I don't enjoy being in the light for all to see. I just want to do my job without attention...positive or negative. I have always done my job to the best of my abilities and I thought without any or a small bit of supervisorion. I am very proud of this trait.

As I type, I weep. I want to go home and hide from the world. I hate feeling or thinking that my core values of being honest and trustworth are being questioned. I hurt from the sting. I yearn, I crave, and I desire confirmation that Im those things to which I should be as a christian and a loyal employee. I take pride in those things. I am exhausted from trying to figure out what this one person wants and why he seems to be watching me like a hawk. I can't seem to do anything right for him and he is always looking for my mistakes. Guess what, I am human and will make mistakes...
I feel as though I have failed my God, my family, and my job. It would be so easy to simply walk out and never come back but that is what the evil one desires. I will not give into His wants. It would be so much easier to give in to the depression but I will rise from this and give God all the glory in my life for what he has done and will also do for me. I may be hyper sensitive to my emotions right now because I am alone most of the time. With my family in another town, I reside by myself in an empty place. At work, the only other female has been moved to another office. I am lonely for sure....
I know that I am never alone but there are times when I allow doubt and despair to grip my soul and it takes a miracle to shake it loose. Who knew that the lack of my family and being in an office alone, would be so emotionally and physical stressing.

Please pray for me to have spiritual strength and to learn to seek confirmation from our Lord and Saviour. Just expecting them to do that, you are expecting them to fail. Humans and things are not capible of true satification and only the Lord can filfull your deeped desire and needs.


Psalms 138:8--
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands.

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12--
11With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. 12We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.[a]

Psalm 145:19--
19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.


Thank you God for your support through scriptures in your holy words and all your love being given to me via the Holy spirit. I am in a hard place right now physically for it is not where I want to be. I know that God has a plan for my life and it is not in my timing. Please lift my whole family in prayer. Please pray that the Lord's will and plan will be fulfilled in our lives. I pray we will seek his face and see what he desires for our lives.







****DO YOU KNOW JESUS BECAUSE HE KNOWS YOU. God knows every hair on your head (Luke 12:6-8 NIV:Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies[a]? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows), and he gave his only son for you John 3:16 KJV-For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.)
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